Spouse Ignorance

[Sissy]

Has any of you had your spouse suddenly become ignorant of your dietary restrictions. My husband has!! He was sooooo helpful and supportive in the begining. Now he keeps putting his foot in his mouth - almost daily!! Last night he tried to give me an Italian Ice & got mad when I said the sugar in that would kill me. When I got excited about seeing my collar bones for the first time in forever he said, "you haven't lost that much weight". OK - this is a man who thought I wasn't that heavy(look at my stats). I should be grateful that he was accepting of me at that weight, but come on, is he blind?? I guess I'm just looking for him to be excited about these changes like I am. I think he's afraid of them?? Maybe we need a support group for spouses of WLS patients??

[hawk1989 (RNY)]

My husband does similar things. For example (the other night he went to the store and bought me a coke. I have not had regular coke in almost 2 years now. and he got mad when I wouldn't drink it.) He likes the way I look but he keeps trying to get me to eat things that he knows I can not have. Unless they have walked in our shoes, they just don't understand. Be patient with him as I am trying to be patient with mine.

[Bridget]

Its nice to know its not just mine although we have been togather for 11 yrs He now has started the you have changed....no kidding I am happy .....I tell him whats going on and expect a reaction and thats good...He is still a little over weight and has made two comments about me finding some one new now that I feel better about my self..OK I have invested to long into this man to just give him up....but its nice to know its not just me and it sounds like our men need to get togather...

[Regina]

Hang in there ladies. They are also going through changes. They are seeing a person that was maybe not so active and who now is. They are just not use to it.

I am thankful that mine never really did that with me. He did and still says to me eat slowly or you will get sick. Then he looks at me sometimes and says that I am too skinny. I say no I am not. He says look at those bones sticking out. I say yeah don't cha just love them.

Anyway hang in there they are going through an adjustment.

[Bridget]

I have no problem with adjustments but I don't know if I can handle the insecurity issues he is having. I need him to know although befor I did and it was no problem but when I go out I am coming home to him and not with some one else Listen I don't know if it was because I was overweight oh hell fat and he thought I couldn't get a guy and now I have lost weight and don't get me wrong I still feel fat and unattractive but now has he changed his tune I ask him always to come wih me I love to go to the bar and sing kerokee..and won;t stop but how can he get over this I tell him always I love him adn want to be here.

[Regina]

Oh you need to tell us where you go. Maybe a few of us can meet up with you. There are a few of us that get together to listen to the best bamd around. You must go into phone numbers here and give me a call. If I am not home leave a message when I can reach you.

[elaine]

Hey there everyone..........

We have to remember that although our spouses are happy for us (admit it or not) they are going through many changes themselves. Some of the changes will be with us and some will be without us. We all have major physical and mental changes occuring everyday.

They might not understand the shoes we've walked in, but as a wife, I don't understand the changes my husband has to endure either. He could never understand how exciting it was the first time I could sit in a booth at the diner, or shop on the other side of the store. But I might not get the fact that it might scare him that our secure life has been shook up. It must be scary for them to think we may not be so happy in the shell that we made and are now so eager to break out of. Even though we are not going anywhere, there is always a slight sense of will I lose them now that they aren't fat anymore????

Just hang in there and learn together......I always tell my husband when he starts that "now your gonna leave me" crap that I am not going to let him off the hook that easy and he is stuck with my skinny butt, like it or not.

As for going out.........bring it girlfriend, I'm in. Diggers in Riverhead tonight if any are interested..........whoo hoo......

~elaine

**if you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got***